Weekly Journal

So guess what everyone? Im a fucking idiot, and i relapsed tonight. And i understand that every addict (no matter the substance) stumbles their way into recovery. But I have been SO depressed recently…like i had the day off on monday & wednesday, and this cool girl from my class wanted to meet up and chill and smoke and get drunk and I gave her a raincheck. EVEN the things i loved seemed to be dull, erroneous, and unnecessary. Law? Normally when a Professor would assign me 8 cases to brief and be coherent enough to do a quiz on (he gave you exactly 48 hours to do those 8 cases); i would shit myself with happiness. On tuesday, i skimmed ONE case, and then put it away because it was boring. that moment was when i knew i was depressed. And then on Friday i was SO MANIC it was awful. I could feel that i was manic, and realized it, and there was nothing i could do. Today has been pretty stressful honestly because it was the FIRST friday night of me working alone since February; so I know its gonna take some adjusting. On top of that; though, we had a BEO (banquet event order; basically anything that goes through sales for the property) of one hundred and ten people. AND; on top of that, the Main Dining Room (the only one indoors!) has a private function going on in it with another 45 guests; oh, and btw its 55ºF outside so every guest is freezing and pissed. So that was my week. I’ve also had a pulsating migraine that lasted the ENTIRE week, but its lighter now. Hopefully itll go away soon. Hey thanks for reading this, if you read the whole thing, like it and ill check out your blog! (mutuals can like it too, or reblog it *wink*)

     Love, Xavier


The monsters in my head are scared of love.


90% of “mental health awareness” posts on tumblr are actually “depression and generalized anxiety disorder awareness” posts and actually do nothing to further awareness of mood disorders like bipolar / manic depressive disorder, personality disorders, and god fucking forbid any sort of awareness for anything with even psychotic features, let alone psychosis or delusional disorders

(Source: karin-420)

Word of the day! (9/18/14)

Copacetic- (kō-puh-setik)

—In excellent order, fine, good.

"I just did inventory, everything is copacetic."

I think I’m depressed, like normally I’m manic all the time but for like 2 weeks I haven’t been interested in anything that I love…I love my job and now I loathe going to it…and my law class has become the bane of my existence; which doesn’t make any sense because normally I’d fucking love the fact that I had 9 cases to memorize in 48 hours and have a quiz on it…I’d fucking brief them all and make flash cards and shit…and I’m literally laying in bed with a migraine, I have absolutely no desire to look at the cases, they’re uninteresting on their face. So idk what I’m going to do because I actually need to get up and live my life I can’t just lay in bed all day and go to class and not pay attention and not do any of my work like…what the fuck is going on.

o 2379 o

grey’s anatomy meme: ten characters

↳ lexie grey (9/10)

o 5008 o

grey’s anatomy meme: ten characters

↳ cristina yang (8/10)


new aesthetic: a fucking toilet mojito
o 37337 o


new aesthetic: a fucking toilet mojito

(Source: klumtv)